I've Got a Pink Spot on My Shoe

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CarterManGod
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:59 pm

I've Got a Pink Spot on My Shoe

Post by CarterManGod » Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:27 am

    Are you ready to take the next step from middays/nights, or even bagging groceries, to Mornings on a 100,000 watt station?!  If you have ,at least, one whole year of exp. board op-ing 'anything,' we might have a spot for you on our dynamic team! 'Dynamic team' meaning, a non-stop, rotating sales staff door!
     You'll live and work near one of the most sunny beaches in America- and that's way better than making money and feeding your family! 
     You must be willing to do plenty of unpaid appearances at community events that no one gives a crap about, and once every 2-3 months we MAY throw you an, actual, paid remote! That is, if the PD doesn't want them all for himself!
     An Associates degree is desired, a Bachelors is preferred, but we'll really take anyone who will work for peanuts. Seriously... If your ass will warm a chair, you may already be hired!
     We're an Arbitron rated market- but we won't tell you that we don't, actually, subscribe to them anymore, so, technically, we're unrated.  We don't test any music either. We just see how radio stations 10 states away do it, and then copy them- as if that works!  And the PD/Owner has a woody for the PPM trend and will force you to do 6 second breaks even though it's not necessary... yet. 
     We may be able to toss you a phone, mattress or some other crap you don't need instead of money too! And if you don't accept these piles of junk, the sales staff will hate you!
     You'll get substantially less of a salary than the guy you're replacing even though he had less skill/education. And there are no more contracts, really, so don't expect any yearly raises, bonuses-nothing!
     Can you make the phones so hot that we won't have to shell out some chump-change for a Cohost? Can you announce the station, back sell music, introduce a topic, take a call, and sign off in 12 seconds? Can you put up with a Regional Operations Director who does nothing but 'drop names' that were famous 25-30 years ago? Can you take a verbal beating from the suits from headquarters simply because they needed a reason to golf in your town for the weekend?
     If any of this sounds like you... We're looking for a new Morning Host/Program Director/Music Director/Production Guy/Secretary/Sales God/Phone Screener/ Webmaster/NTR Associate/Traffic/Janitor/Event MC/Personal Trainer/Airplane Pilot/Board Op/First Grade Teacher/Fireman!  - some weekend shifts, evening shifts, 6 midday shifts a week, Host for our sister stations on occasion, unpaid remotes, and your first born!

No divas! No egos! No free-thinkers! No Liberals/Democrats! No religious people! No speaking out of turn!  No ideas! - and, if you do have any ideas, we WILL steal every single one, fire you, and implement each idea as if it's our own. And with you out of the way- no one will ever no any better!

Btw- this job will only last 18-24 months regardless!  Please send a 3 min demo- anything longer than 3 minutes will be set on fire and jettisoned into the cold darkness if space. We want you to be creative, and we want to prove that sentiment by stifling anything at all other than a 3 min demo!

Good Luck!  Keep in mind that no one would ever dream of applying to this position, so we'll repost in a week/month with a headline that says: Last Chance to Work at the Greatest Place on Earth!
Last edited by CarterManGod on Mon Mar 19, 2012 9:38 am, edited 3 times in total.

partyshark
Posts: 79
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:44 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by partyshark » Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:50 am

I can't imagine why you are STILL unemployed with that perfect example of spiteful bitterness. /sarc off

Typical tripe from a morning show wanna be who was shown the door and can't find another that will open to your knocks. Look in the mirror for the reason why you are still on the beach and bitter about it cartermanboy.

partyshark
Posts: 79
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:44 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by partyshark » Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:04 am

p.s.
update your website dude- you don't work mornings on WGNI anymore- get over it already!

CarterManGod
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:59 pm

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by CarterManGod » Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:56 am

It IS typical PartyShark- a 'typical' description of today's job posts, and my attitude is 'typical' of someone in my position. 

typ·i·cal
[tip-i-kuhl]
- adjective 1. having the essential characteristics of a particular type or group. 

In other words, I'm not displaying anything different than the norm. Nothing extra good-nothing extra bad. So, if ALL 'typical' Morning Hosts feel the same way I do... Then, what huge pearl of wisdom are you trying to drop on me right now, exactly? Or, do you just want to hear yourself blather on, as usual.  

Certainly, by now, you realize that I will not be making room for your unsolicited opinions, and I already know your intension is to drag me into a blog fight, which, seems to be your M.O.

I guess the real question is: WHY is my attitude the 'norm?' Why do sooo many feel the exact same, 'typical' way that I do?
Last edited by CarterManGod on Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:29 am, edited 2 times in total.

partyshark
Posts: 79
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:44 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by partyshark » Mon Mar 12, 2012 12:47 pm

Nice soliloquy and all but it don't hold water "cupcake". Your little temper tantrums on AA are synonymous with being on the beach and being someone no one wants to hire. People have you pegged and you can't wiggle out of the framework of your personality flaws by your own posts so you resort to the juvenile tactic of attacking those whom you most desire to be like. If you are currently unemployed with little or no desire to return to radio then why come on this board with an inflammatory post? Is it your desire to be the center of attention? Is it your feelings of inadequacy that you need assurance someone is listening to you? We hear you cartermanboy, but we don't care what you have to say. Every post you make is another reason for those who would employ you not too. You say your attitude is the norm but nothing could be further from the truth from many in your position.
And what a nice attitude suggesting I kill myself just because I call you out on bullshit...niiiice buddy, your mom must be proud! YOU are the reason you are not working in radio (and wont ever work in radio again). Your attitude doesn't square with anyone but you. You think the majority are behind you in your twisted views but you're wrong. Your previous ratings and failure to keep a mediocre morning gig are proof of that.

BTW- I am gainfully employed in this business without having to be a "yes man" and have been that way for many years. Been fired once and had the pleasure of working with industry greats. Go on now and do your little podcast for your 2 listeners and make yourself feel like the big man you couldn't be on the radio.

Oh, and fix your website son...it STILL says you are doing mornings on WGNI...last I checked Bob and Sheri are gainfully employed in that position that you soooo covet.

I'm Yur Huckleberry---partyshark out!

CarterManGod
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:59 pm

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by CarterManGod » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:31 pm

Shark- As far as why no one's contacting me for a new gig- that was YOUR theory. I've had lots of offers, but when they, finally, display the offered salary, I show THEM the door. I'll never jump at another gig-ever. I have the luxury of waiting it out, while getting another degree in a different field. If Radio comes knockin'-great! If they don't- oh well! Their loss, and most likely, a greater op waits elsewhere for me!
Last edited by CarterManGod on Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

partyshark
Posts: 79
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:44 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by partyshark » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:38 pm

Address the fact that your website FALSELY claims you work mornings at GNI....

this is a short post so you need not bother reading much...and from your airchecks, it sounds like you dont read much.
but when they, finally, display the offered salary, I show THEM the door.
whatever story you need to fantasize to make yourself feel better...

I'm Yur Huckleberry--

CarterManGod
Posts: 98
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:59 pm

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by CarterManGod » Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:11 pm

Omg- I read a little more. You're a scary dude. I remember now that you like to psychologically profile people based on blog posts alone... Yawn.

If you're trying to point out that I'm dicky, at times... well, yeah:)

PS- My website needs lots of work, actually, you're right about that. Not that you need to know, but that site of mine has frozen. I can't add/take away any text, audio- anything. However, it's also FREE!! So, if there's a discrepancy of any kind, for free- I'll live with it.
Last edited by CarterManGod on Sat Mar 31, 2012 7:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

partyshark
Posts: 79
Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 9:44 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by partyshark » Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:54 pm

Hook, line and sinker...hahahahaha

just too add-- you came up in here calling the job posters "morons" so quit talkin ad hominem, asshole. You come in and blast and insult the ones that are offering paid positions but cry because you can't get a job in radio...gee, I wonder why? Your brand of funny is about as funny as a fart in church. No one likes a sore loser, so go away and leave radio to those who know how to do radio properly.

Go dream about your next worthless response to me in the morning, if you can wait that long. I OWN you --hahahahahah

thecheese
Posts: 91
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 4:03 am

Re: Time for a seminar on writing job posts morons

Post by thecheese » Thu Mar 15, 2012 11:00 am

While I generally side with partyshark in this thread.. I gotta say.. a fart in church is pretty funny.

With syndication and voice tracking radio gigs are scarce.. and between broadcasting schools spitting out graduates as fast as they can cash the $10,000 tuition checks, and the displaced and downsized season pros hungry for whatever gets them behind the mic and off the breadline, the jobs that are out there are tough to get.

Radio is the greatest job in the world. I'm sometimes shocked that they even pay me to do it. If I wanted to get rich, i'd have gone to medical school.

Or maybe Barber College.

Those hundreds of radio jobs you've been offered may not pay much, but i'll bet they pay better than podcasts and posting diatribes on All Access do.

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